Doug's Blog

Run...Forrest...Run!

2008-12-04T12:49:00.000-08:00

I do love to run. Lately Meyka has been asking about my runs..."Where did you go today, Forrest?"

OK, things at work are BORING. They won't always be. But for now...BORING! I've done less than a dozen financial plans all year. One a month. A plan might take me about 10 hours or so to do. If (and that's a big "if") I have done a dozen, that would be 120 hours of real work all year. The other 1,172 hours of the year I've been sitting on my ass looking busy. A-a-a-a-gh!

I was doing recreational shopping in my spare time until the stock market went to hell, I found myself in a much too big house that I couldn't sell, and I started smothering under all the shit we have.

Miss M provided a lot of opportunities to shop by mail. UPS, FedEx, DHL, and the USPS know our address well. It was like perpetual Christmas for a while until I realized that I was spending a fortune on a Craigslist boat. Besides...I hate Christmas!

What else have I done with my time? I blogged for a while. I read other people's blogs for a while. I called people and chatted on the phone. I've read books, prayed, and meditated. I've planned elaborate methods to run away. I've job hunted. I've spread peanut butter and jelly time into two hour lunches. And now...I run.

I bring my little black short shorts to work. I plot elaborate tours on Google earth. I put on my music and I run. Supposedly it is for lunch time. But no one seems to notice if I'm here any more. So I run pre-lunch...post-lunch...mid-lunch.

If you run around an hour and a half...and have a two hour p&j...and meditate, read, and talk on the phone...and even occasionally work...somehow 8 hours goes by.

Now I got into a little trouble doing this before. Earlier in the year, I went to Charleston on business and decided to run over the Cooper River Bridge. Then when I was up on the bridge I spotted a big marina with lots of sailboats and I ran there. And then I walked up and down the docks and looked at all the sailboats. And then I ran back over the Cooper River Bridge all the way to my hotel. It was a long way.

No problemo. I had a great time. Except my right ankle swelled up like and orange and stayed so funky that I couldn't run again for months. That was about the time that I got diagnosed with cancer and it wasn't funny not to be able to exercise. Convalesced for months.

So-o-o-o...even if I can run forever. And even if I'd like to run forever. I have to keep my ankle in mind. I am being VERY careful. My max distance is 8 miles or so for now.

Of course no one understands this insanity. How could they? Insanity is insanity. Mine is pretty benign as long as I don't hurt myself. Or get fired. Eric Lidell in the movie Chariots of Fire said, "When I run I feel His pleasure." That stuck with me. I feel a whole lot of pleasure when I run, too.

So what am I plotting next. Well...I only live 7.5 miles from my cell...prison...torture chamber...I mean, work. And I think I'm going to start commuting by foot.

My only question is, are little black running short shorts business casual?

Delete!

2008-11-21T11:51:00.000-08:00

I was all about deleting my blog. No posts in over a month. Another sacrifice to "so much to do...so little time." But I just can't pull the plug yet.

There has been so much awesome stuff that has gone down since my October 15 post.

Like...the experience of a lifetime--a ten day sailing adventure on our Rawson 30 sailboat.

And my first checkup since being diagnosed with cancer and finding out that though my imagination had my cancer taking on an "Alien-like" existence, it had not changed. And the doctor said not to think about him until next time. Don't think about cancer doctor...don't think about cancer doctor...don't think about cancer doctor.

And a whole mind (peace of mind!) shift through some books and other resources that I synchronistically got into: Pema Chodron's book The Places That Scare You led me to a Zencast on metta meditation that led me to audiodharma.org that led me to Gil Frondal's course on Introduction to Meditation that led me to appreciate Eckart Tolle's tapes and books.

I told my wife, Meyka, not to worry "I am not becoming a Hairy Krishna or anything." He-he! But it is helping. I was going crazy fighting time and life and all sorts of other non-winnable battles. Battles right between my ears!

So...even though I was ready to pull the plug on the blog. I couldn't do it yet. My friends Rob and Dana had my blog listed on their site. So at least for one more post it lives.

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No New Posts

2008-10-15T11:27:00.000-07:00

My last post was on September 23 on the heels of the Triathlon. I was a picture takin' blog writin' fool there for a while. So what happened?

Well...I was captured by these little green men and taken up in their space ship and analyzed. But the last thing they did before they brought me back was erase my memory. So, I don't know what happened. Life...I think.

But enough is enough. I am therefore I blog.

I lost my ass in the market. There...I said it! I was deluded for a little while into thinking that I was a day trader. I had the formula. I could make $100 a day from home. I wasn't greedy. Stocks went up. Stocks went down. Buy when down and sell when up. And like the country bumpkin suckered by the pool shark, I fell for it. I bought and sold and took $9,870 to $13,000 in a month. Before long I could retire and do this on my boat.

My picks included such popular names as Washington Mutual, Merrill Lynch, Garmin, Whole Foods, Freddie Mac, AIG, and Sirius radio. B-a-a-a-h! My $13,000 went to $4,872. Just like Vegas but no cheap liquor or bosums to leer at while you lose.

The thing is that I know better. That makes it twice as tough. Thank God that I didn't try to grow my retirement or other investments. It was just some savings that I was either going to pay on our home loan. Pay off 6% debt and that is a guaranteed return. What a dummy!

The rest of our investments haven't fared so good either. I am diversified and use an asset allocation based on our time horizon and risk tolerance. But I wish it had been buried in the back yard.

I really don't watch it that closely or mess with it. But I do use Quicken and when I update, Quicken tells me my net worth. I am worth-less now!

These are genuinely hard times. I have never seen anything quite like this economic crisis in my life time. I remember when I was in the insurance industry selling life insurance products that were interest sensitive. At the times the policies were issued, they were paying 8-10% interest. An illustration of future values was included in the sale and policy delivery. The illustrations also showed what would happen to the policies if interest rates went to the minimum guaranteed rate of 4%.

Clients would ask about the 4% column and we would laughingly tell them that was just a worst case scenario "Ha! Ha! That column shows the worst case scenario. The REAL rate is 8%. The question is do you think we will ever see 4% interest?!"

Boy, were we dumb. Interest rates did go down and down and down. We weren't trying to deceive, we were deluded. Most of those policies sold during that time collapsed and many a law suit followed.

Our present economic reality is something equally inconceivable to me. I never thought that properly allocated portfolios could lose this much money.

I've never really believed in owning fixed income. But a time like this makes a believer out of me.

Sure my portfolio probable will recover over time. But how much time? I am getting to an age that I don't have that many recoveries in me.

I hope to retire in a few years. And once retired I will not be able to replace lost savings with earnings.

It makes me think. I am changing.

Can we learn? Sometimes I wonder. Human beings tend to have amnesia on things like this.

But I hope I have learned. I don't believe in speculating and gambling. I do believe in owning a mix of stocks and FIXED INCOME.

I Triathlon!!!

2008-09-23T12:06:00.001-07:00

My family was warped forever at the first of many viewings of the movie "What About Bob?" A favorite scene is Bob strapped to the mast shouting to Dr. Marvin, "I sail! I sail!"

That phrase has been applied to many of our personal experiences--the most recent for me is a triathlon. "I Triathlon!"

A co-worker approached me many months ago about joining him and another BB&T person in the Wilmington YMCA Triathlon 2008. The website stated that it is "The biggest race in the NCTS, and the largest from Washington DC to Florida."

This would be a first for them and me. Wes would run, Cassie would swim, and I would bike. With my usual nerves of jello, I agreed.

Here's the team:

After I signed up, I found out in May that I had the "Big C". I also ended up having some problems with my ankle after I pulled a Forest Gump in Charleston--running over the Cooper River Bridge and never stopping.

Anticipating "suffering much at the hands of physicians" this fall, I officially resigned from the team. But whether from faith or procrastination, no replacement was found.

The seriousness of my commitment hit me when Wes emailed Cassie and me that the big event was in two weeks. My "oh s_ _ t" response was to climb back on my roadbike after MONTHS of not riding. My primary goal was to be able to use my clipless pedals well enough not to die on the road. If I was not an embarrassment to my team would be bonus.

I commuted on my road bike last week to cap off my diligent training. Not falling down at stop lights while clipping in and out proved a positive omen.

Friday, I picked up my packet at Two Wheeler Dealer. Official t-shirt in hand, the main prize of triathleting was mine.

1300 people were signed up. I was afraid I'd never even find my team! I was number 1275--an auspicious number.

Here's where the 1300 bicycles were racked.

We had our orientation Friday night. Instructions were to be on site by 6:00 a.m. We were up at 4:50 and there by 5:40. It was amazing.

The area was teaming with activity. I drank lots of coffee and shivered. Watched all the "serious" people. I was really pretty calm. Frankly, since God let me not have to swim, what did I have to complain about.

The swim was described as:
"Swim:This race starts out with a 1,500 meter swim - which is unusual for a sprint distance triathlon. The reason the swim is longer than the normal sprint distance swim is because the swim is a point-to-point swim that always takes place with an incoming tide. Check out the swim times from previous years – the swim actually seems more like 750 meters – 1,000 meters depending on how fast the current is moving. It is important to note that while this swim takes place in salt water – this is not an ocean swim. The swim takes place in a channel system between Wrightsville Beach and the mainland. Numerous buses are used to transport participants from the transition area (and swim finish location) to the swim start location at the Blockade Runner hotel. This is another race that becomes a race day decision for wetsuits – as the water temperature at this time of the year along the southern North Carolina coast is always around 78 degrees."

How would you like to be one of 15 waves of swimmers in the dark and cold doing that? Me either! Cassie did it though. She dreaded the run from Seapath to the transition area to hand off to me. Run...Cassie...Run!

My bike ride was sweet. Here is what they said about it:
"Bike:The course is flat (not a surprise) as the race is at the coast. The one loop course takes participants over the Wrightsville Beach drawbridge and onto the mainland. Participants need to be very careful crossing the metal grading on the drawbridge - don't make any sudden turns or movements (ride carefully!!)."

No problem. See Doug bike...

The run was a 5k. Wes was the man on that. Numero uno in our group.

Oh...the team name was "Babe and Boys for the T-shirt"...BB&T. Get it? Our employer.

Final standings? We were number 14 out of 43 relay teams. Not bad for novices.

The winners? They were gods. Swam in 16 minutes. Biked in 29 minutes. Ran in 18 minutes. Unbelievable.

All shapes and sizes do triathlons--from the gods to Clydesdales. We met a 79 year old gentleman that has done it for the past 28 of 30 years. Nice guy!

Meyka supported. Took pictures. Observed. Quietly decided "I'm going to do on of those some day." Added it to her Bucket List.

So...in case you wonder...I triathlon.

That Lucky Old Sun

2008-09-18T06:30:00.001-07:00

That Lucky Old Sun Lyrics
Artist: Frankie Laine (Buy Frankie Laine CDs)
Album: That Lucky Old Sun

That Lucky Old Sun

-Artist: Frankie Laine as sung on "Frankie Laine's Greatest Hits"
-Columbia CS 8636
-peak Billboard position #1 for 8 weeks in 1949
-competing versions charted by Vaughn Monroe (#6), Sarah Vaughan (# 14),
-Frank Sinatra (#16), Louis Armstrong (#19), and Bob Houston (#27)
-Words by Haven Gillespie and Music by Beasley Smith

Up in the mornin'
Out on the job
Work like the devil for my pay
But that lucky old sun got nothin' to do
But roll around heaven all day.

Fuss with my woman, toil for my kids
Sweat till I'm wrinkled and gray
While that lucky old sun got nothin' to do
But roll around heaven all day

Dear Lord above, can't you know I'm pining, tears all in my eyes
Send down that cloud with a silver lining, lift me to Paradise

Show me that river, take me across
Wash all my troubles away
Like that lucky old sun, give me nothing to do
But roll around heaven all day

Send down that cloud with a silver lining, lift me to Paradise

Show me that river, take me across
Wash all my troubles away
Like that lucky old sun, give me nothing to do
But roll around heaven all day

Is This All There Is?

2008-09-18T06:30:00.000-07:00

A good friend talks about folk in recovery hitting a stage of "Is this all there is?"

After the chaos of addiction and other dysfunctional living, "normal" can seem pretty boring. When nothing is wrong (and you're used to something always being wrong)... it can feel like something is wrong.

Reflecting on being stuck in my home, in my job, in my life--I asked myself "What if this was all there was?"

Frankly, it ain't that bad. There is far more good in my life than bad. Instead of focusing on what is not what I want, there is a lot in my life that couldn't be better. Scare me!

If this was all there was...it would be pretty damn good.

So, today I am focusing on what I am content with. I am content with my bikes. The weather today. Being able to ride to work. My breakfast. How I feel today. The lack of pressure at work. Having a 9-5 job (no nights and weekends!) My boat. My MP3 player and the music that is on it. What I'm reading. What I'm learning right now. The person I'm married to. My friends. What I do for fun. What I do for therapy. Etc. Etc.

It's the etc. that I'm focusing on today. My friend sent me an email today from the Daily Dharma. A part of that quote is: "In the complexities of our minds and lives we easily forget the power of attention, yet without attention we live only on the surface of existence. It is just simple attention that allows us truly to listen to the song of a bird, to see deeply the glory of an autumn leaf, to touch the heart of another and be touched. We need to be fully present in order to love a single thing wholeheartedly. We need to be fully awake in this moment if we are to receive and respond to the learning inherent in it."

(Want to try the Daily Dharma? Subscribe here: http://visitor.constantcontact.com/email.jsp?m=1102078752519&p=oi)

So I am going to pay simple attention to what I like about my life instead of what I don't. Wouldn't it be amazing if I actually became content.

Would I ask of contentment "Is this all there is?"

Check out this picture of me:

Do I look happier to you?

Help Me...I'm Stuck!

2008-09-17T12:06:00.000-07:00

Nothing is more panicky to me than feeling stuck.

Physically stuck in a tight place Stuck up a tree. Stuck on a roof.

Stuck in a lease.

Or more pertinent to this post...stuck with a house.

Meyka and I are living in about 1/3 of our house since Huston is gone. But we get to pay and maintain all of it.

Not in my priorities to be paying for what I'm not using! I have other goals that I would much rather use that money for.

And maintaining a house is NEVER my idea of a good time. When I lived in an apartment, I rode my bike tons. A favorite ride was on highway 150 in Greensboro. I would mock the poor male house slaves out mowing their lawns as I free spiritedly cycled away. "Fools", I thought. Now I is one!

After a drip campaign on Meyka, she finally agreed to have the real estate agent come by to discuss listing our home last night.

I didn't mess with this opportunity--I got the very best agent I could find...Buddy Blake. Buddy and his team are the kings of Wilmington real estate. If anyone could sell our house, Buddy could.

But Buddy dashed my hopes. Oh, the house could sell. IF I wanted to lose my a_ _ (donkey).

Now I like freedom. And I am really ready to start saving more $ for retirement. And I really, really want to sail away on a boat. But I have an aversion to losing $70,000 on a house in a little over a year. Call me stupid but....

So, I'm stuck. Biding my time for things to get better in New Jersey or wherever the next load of suckers...I mean, buyers...is going to come from.

It's OK. Thankfully, I can pay for this house. And it is a nice house. We are very happy in the 1/3 of it we actually use.

Buddy was very hopeful though that things would look up in 2010. Let's see, that is just 676,800 panic stricken minutes from now. Oh joy!

Run, Doug, Run!

2008-09-16T06:32:00.000-07:00

Historic Wilmington Foundation 5K Run - Wilmington, North Carolina

5K Run for Preservation

We Broke Records with 475 participants
Thanks to All of You for Coming Out!

Thursday, Sept. 11 at 6.30 p.m.

Meyka and I ran in the Historic Wilmington Foundation 5K last Thursday. Neither of us had ever run a 5K before last year. Her employer, RSM McGladrey, is a supporter of the Historic Wilmington Foundation and encourages their folk to participate. "Encourage" means paying her entry fee. Paying and entry fee means getting a t-shirt. That's all the encouragement we needed!

We had a blast last year. Enjoyed it so much that we even did another 5K. This year was great, too.

Ever since Jeremy and Emily visited I have been able to see Wilmington with enthralled tourist eyes--particularly the downtown area. As we ran along with 475 others Thursday night through the historic area with its streets canopied by live oaks, smiling observers waving and cheering us on from covered porches...I was grateful to shift into observer mode and marvel at the privilege of being a part of this event in this place.

Tonight a real estate agent is coming to talk with us about selling our home. "What are you going to do if it sells?", a friend asked. "Rent", I answer. "Maybe in the historic area of Wilmington."

I am ready for a change. Nothing new there. It seems more the norm than the exception for me. Meyka understandably gets weary of a life of constant flux. I come by wanderlust honestly. Is it a character fault or attribute? I am not sure at this point. Probably the answer is...it depends.

All I know is that it is not unusual for Doug to run. Now if I can just figure out if I running from...or running to?

Run, Doug, Run!

Much Ado About Nothing

2008-09-08T09:53:00.000-07:00

OK. I admit it. I was much freaked out about Tropical Storm Hanna and Hurricane Ike, etc. What made it so hard for me, was that I just did not know what to do with Miss M, our 30' Rawson sailboat.

I wasn't the only one that took the storm seriously of course. It looked like Hanna could do some damage and Ike was really scary.

Miss M stays at a slip at Masonboro Boat Yard. http://http://www.masonboro.com/ Dave and Kevin, the dockmasters, went into their disaster preparedness plan early. All of the boats had to be taken down off of the 3 story dry stacks. Unbelievable, but they got it done.

My buddy Rob suggested we take the boats up the Cape Fear River and anchor. Others said that she would be fine at the marina as long as Hanna was a category 1 or less.

I was told to turn her around bow first into the wind. To put double lines on her. Capt. Ed used terms like "truss her up like a turkey" or some such. I was told to take all canvas off her and remove her sails. Rob thought her mainsail could stay...probably. A-a-a-a-gh. Panic! I was overwhelmed and unsure of what all to do.

But...Thursday evening she was turned around (with the help of 4 strong men and 1 strong wife). She was double lined (thanks Rob!). And everything else was taken off the deck.

Saturday a.m. about 3:40 a.m. Hanna hit Calabash, NC as a tropical storm. Sustained winds of maybe 50 knots with gusts to 70. I woke up about 4:00 a.m. and stayed fairly awake as the wind howled. Made some coffee, went out on the screen porch and watched her blow.

I could have sworn that it was blowing 70 mph at my house. But the weather observations said that it was much more like 40 mph. Makes me imagine how scary 70 or 100 or more must be like.

Saturday morning dawn revealed a lawn well littered with pine branches and cones but no real damage.

Meyka and I went down to Carolina Beach for a walk. The waves were pretty big but not mountainous.

My buddy Rob even went for a sail later on Saturday. Some big swells he said but he had his twin 6 year olds on the bow...so it couldn't have been that bad.

Meyka and I spent the rest of Saturday doing stuff around the house. I picked up the debris in the yard, mowed, and trimmed. Meyka cleaned, cooked and laundered. It felt good to get some things done. My heart is on my sailboat, but my obligations still include a house and yard. :-(

We debated whether to sail Sunday or not. But asking myself "What would I regret?" resulted in the decision to go. I am so glad we did.

We sailed up the ICW with a nice south wind. We had to drop the jib and motor out Masonboro Inlet.

Meyka stayed in the bow and tried to sit on the jib. It was ROUGH getting out the inlet. She rolled and tossed on the bow with breaking waves soaking her. I kind of thought she was having a gay old time until I realized she wasn't. Maybe her shout of "The g-damn anchor is loose!" clued me in. Rob and I had taken it out so it wouldn't chafe the dockline during the storm.

Needless to say, Meyka's wrestling the anchor resulted in some new nicks and bruises. Uh-oh!

Commendably though she shook off her traumatic event. We raised the jib, got the fishing line in the water and sailed away.

The wind piped up nicely and we made great speed in an easterly direction. When Miss M gets her head and starts a run like that, I am sorely tempted to never turn back. Let's see...would the next stop be Bermuda?

But we did turn back. As we motored back down the intercoastal a threesome of dolphins entertained us with their playful acrobatics.

I actually backed into the slip without damage. Packed up. Hosed Miss M off. Went home and ate omelets.

Life is good. Glad Tropical Storm Hanna was a big nothing. Glad old Ike is headed to the Gulf.

Family Affair

2008-09-05T15:03:00.000-07:00

Labor Day weekend was a family affair.

My Mom and my nephew flew in on the Friday before and left the following Tuesday.

Mom had never been to our home in North Carolina. Her coming was a much anticipated treat and in retrospect was better than I could have imagined.

A lot of credit for Mom coming is due to my nephew David Paddock. David has a successful business in Japan that through his purposeful management allows him some extended time in the states. http://www.english-adventure.org/about/top.html When he planned this trip home he suggested accompanying Mom to see us. He did not have to ask twice. "Yes!", we all said.

My daughter Anna and husband Mitch came down from Greensboro to be with us, too. Sadly, Jeremy and Emily couldn't come because of Jeremy's work schedule. Doubly sad, because in a addition to Labor Day weekend...it was also Jeremy B-Day weekend. Oh well...

The weekend centered around eating--a Paddock thing. Friday night was charcoal grilled flatiron steak with a black bean salad. Saturday lunch was Meyka's Famous Tuna Salad on pitas and cold cuts. Saturday night was a NC pork feast in Mitch's honor. It was David's first taste of hickory smoked pork tenderloin in a spicy rub, beans, slaw and vinegary sauce. It met with his approval. Sunday night was a Tex-Mex salad. And Monday night was a shrimp boil with corn and potatoes. Yum!Not much went on other than hanging out with the Fam.

Sunday afternoon David and Huston and I went for a sail on Miss M. It was one of the best sails ever. I think that the tropical storms had stirred up some meaty waves. Miss M handled them like a champ of course. Thanks, Ron Rawson for a great boat. The wind allowed us to sail up the ICW and back. We went out Masonboro Inlet and sailed for a while "outside." The wind piped up nicely about 2-3 miles out. David had his first sail. He liked it!

Picture taking was a big part of the weekend. David is an accomplished photographer. (Anna does good, too) My old digital camera died and I called the manufacturer to see about repairing it. The cost to repair was about equal to a remanufacturer upgrade Canaon offered so I got the upgrade. It is an SD1000. It sucks! I haven't been happy with the pictures since I got it. Maybe it is this camera--it was a remanufactured one after all. But whatever it is...it sucks!

David said, "The wise workman does not blame the tool." Or something to that effect. So, he taught me many ways to improve my picture taking. I did over exposure, underexposure, with flash, without flash, framed with feet, framed without feet, etc., etc. After all was said and done, David says, "Your camera sucks." Or something like that.

Mom had an old Canon A 520 that David was using. When we compared the pictures of the two. No comparison!

Anyway, David got some nice shots with Mom's camera on the sail that prompted my digression but...My SD1000 is going on sale on EBay and I'm shopping for a new one.

To everyone's irritation, David and I went into shopper mode--apparently another Paddock thing. We read reviews out the yin yang. Visited multiple auctions, etc. I'm still confused. David shops just like me...so he says...without the buyer's remorse. Must be nice.

The other great thing about David being here is that he inspired me to get my new laptop working. Let's see, I've only had it how many months

The time with Anna and Mitch was great. They are an awesome couple--awesome individuals. Even if they are mine, it's true.

Much sadness when David and Mom left on Tuesday.

I do love being around my family!

2008-08-26T12:13:00.000-07:00

Meyka and I took Miss M out Friday evening and anchored in Banks Channel at Wrightsville Beach. In my previous post, I shared the weekend forecast. Tropical storm Fay was supposed to stir up some gnarly stuff. I was skeered. Figured out how to reef my main. Unpacked my storm jib and had it hanked on. But it was much worry about nothing. We did get blowed getting out of the slip. Wind caught our stern and had us in a bad way until a kind soul at the marina gave us a shove out.

We had to motor up the ICW to the anchorage. But we got the anchor set with no problem. (Thanks, Capt. Ed for your tutelage!) Got to see a purty sunset. Had a nice supper. Snuggled in to read in our cosy berth and listened to it blow. I loved it.

After a good snooze, I woke up Saturday and did my morning routine--turn on propane, boil water, make coffee, and journal. Sleepy Meyka threatened to sleep until 10:00, but she got up earlier. Hurray!

After breakfast we did boat chores until our friend Rob joined us for an afternoon sail. We have met the enemy--rust! I thought stainless steel didn't rust. Wrong! I put my first mate on rust detail. She tackled the bowsprit and sundry parts and made real headway. She did so good that I appointed her to permanent rust detail. I am so good to her.We met up with Rob around two and headed out the inlet. Tide was going out...wind was blowing in...the inlet was crazy. We had trouble getting our mainsail up but eventually got it. Once we got out the channel, we had an awesome sail. My guess is that the wind was 15 knots +/- with occasional gusts. We ended up with a single reefed main and our 100% jib. I must say, it was a perfect sail plan for the day. Miss M seemed so happy and took some pretty hefty swells with a smile on her boat face. We were synchronized sailing with Rob most of the day. We got great pics of each other. Rob was all teeth--smiling and having a blast. His boat looked terrific under sail. I haven't seen Rob's pictures of us yet but I bet we were pretty, too.

I'm afraid I tuckered my crew out though. When we sailed out in the ocean as far as we had time for and came about, she nodded off. The non-sleepy Dramamine still makes a girl sleepy.

Back at anchor we went for a dip. Wore out. But all smiles.

Got a little reading in.
Watched another sunset. Had a fantastic supper of grilled pork chops, salad, and bread. Snuggled in the bunk to read some more. Slept like fat babies.

We both slept late Sunday morning. Did some more boat chores. Sailed down the ICW to our home port. Meyka went back to the land house to prepare for prison...I mean work. I gave Miss M a bath. She looked glorious.

I love my boat!

I Want to Ride My Bicycle and ....

2008-08-22T11:41:00.000-07:00

This last week found me in Winston Salem attending training for my work. The thrilling topic for two fun packed days was "Advanced Trust Issues and Updates." Yum!

We all received a 700 page manual and spent two days sitting still while someone instilled tidbits on thrillers like "the life cycle of a private foundation", estate planning with really really old people (tip: make sure they have hearing aids in and turned on), grantor trusts, blah blah blah blah blah....

My tolerance for this s_ _ t has really reached a low ebb. But obviously I am in the minority. 119 of the 120 attendees acted like they were getting something out of it. Maybe I am comparing their outsides to my insides. Or maybe I am really effed up.

Not being sure into whose hands this blog may fall (probably no ones), I won't put in writing how I wiled away those hours in class. I will suffice it to say that one of my bosses asked what I was studying (referring to the text secreted in my 700 page manual). "Navigation" I answered. "For a test" he asked. "For my pleasure", I admitted. He was soon distracted by someone else and I thought "I am so screwed!"

"For my pleasure" seems to indicate the things that motivate me these days. Is that bad? I can't figure it out. I am very motivated to work for, learn about, and practice the things that I want to do. But life seems too short to me now to devote much energy to the things I don't care about. Am I screwed? Stay tuned.

I had a great time with the fam on Monday night. My son-in-law whipped up some black bean cakes and we dined fine with same tasty salsa to compliment. My hat's off to Pace for their Triple Pepper Salsa. My daughter said that it was her favorite. I agree.

Topics that evening acquainted me with MySpace, Facebook, guitar pro, and other techno secrets. My god, they are brilliant!

I also got to have Vietnamese food with Greensboro friends on Tuesday evening and make a meeting. I miss Greensboro. It is a great town and I have people there that are very important to me--family and friends.

I got back to Wilmington late Wednesday. Dropped off the rental car so I could ride my bike to work on Thursday. It was a great ride to work. I love being able to feel the start of the day. The sun on my face, wind at my back, laughing at the squirrels' suicide dashes in front of me. Birds. Flowers. Aware of it all. Most of humanity leaves their air conditioned house and get in their little bubble in the car and park and go into their sealed up office and don't even know what the day is like. Warm? Cool? Humid? Dry? Sunny? Cloudy? The shape of the clouds? Windy? From which direction? It is a gift to be aware of the day. And that's just one reason why I want to ride my bicycle. I haven't even gotten into dancing on my bike to the music on my MP3. I'm a weird one!

This weekend should be a chance for some heavy weather sailing. The marine forecast reads:

SURF CITY TO CAPE FEAR NC OUT 20 NM-306 PM EDT FRI AUG 22 2008...SMALL CRAFT ADVISORY IN EFFECT THROUGH SATURDAY EVENING....THROUGH 6 PM...E WINDS 15 TO 20 KT WITH GUSTS UP TO 25 KT. SEAS AROUND 7 FT. SEAS AROUND 5 FT NEAR SHORE. A SLIGHT CHANCE OF SHOWERS. .TONIGHT...E WINDS 15 TO 20 KT WITH GUSTS UP TO 25 KT. SEAS AROUND7 FT...SUBSIDING TO 6 FT AFTER MIDNIGHT. NEAR SHORE...SEAS AROUND5 FT. A SLIGHT CHANCE OF SHOWERS THIS EVENING..SAT...NE WINDS 15 TO 20 KT WITH GUSTS UP TO 25 KT. SEAS 5 TO 6 FT..SAT NIGHT...E WINDS 10 TO 15 KT. SEAS 4 TO 6 FT. A SLIGHT CHANCE OF SHOWERS AND TSTMS AFTER MIDNIGHT. .SUN...E WINDS 10 TO 15 KT. SEAS 2 TO 4 FT. A SLIGHT CHANCE OF SHOWERS AND TSTMS. .SUN NIGHT...E WINDS AROUND 10 KT. SEAS 2 TO 4 FT.

Scare me!

I'll report on it later. Think positive thoughts!

Love Those Children!

2008-08-18T08:03:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it. Recently I actually got to spend time with both my kids. Jeremy, Emily and Cornbread the Bunny came down the weekend of the 8th. It was a weekend of fine vegetarian fare thanks to Emily's inspiration and Meyka's good cooking.

I am not sure that I want to totally get away from eating meat. Meyka is sure she doesn't want to. So...I get a few meatless meals a week and await a vegetarian like Emily coming to see me.

The Friday they arrived Meyka fixed an Indian tofu and spinach dish that is similar to Saag Paneer. It is awesome! Saturday we had hummus and tabouleh on pita. Incredible! Sunday was Fiery Falafel with an avocado salsa on pita. M-m-m-m! M-m-m-m!

Oh, and besides the food we had fun with Jeremy and Emily.

To my surprise, Anna called last week and said that she and Mitchell would be in the neighborhood Sunday. They were going to be with Mitchell's folks at Ocean Isle from Friday to Sunday. I was thrilled.

They came by Sunday for lunch. And it was NOT vegetarian. Burgers, chips, beans. I'm such a hypocrite...it was great, too. I fixed rice pudding for desert. It was a mix but still good. I love pudding!

Must be hungry as my family reflections are more about food than family. Snap out of it, Doug!

Truth is that I love my kids. Think about them all the time but talk over the phone infrequently and see them even less. If I had my druthers, I'd live close enough for us to see each other more regularly. When we lived in Greensboro, they came over for lunch approximately every other Sunday. It was a great way to stay in touch.

If I knew I only had a limited time on this planet, I know that one thing I would do is spend more time with them.

Just Do It

2008-08-15T11:17:00.000-07:00

OK. I've wanted to do a blog ever since reading my son's. http://http://www.jeremiahpaddock.blogspot.com/

I love his.

I'd like to blog to capture what I am thinking, feeling and experiencing even if it is for my own edification.

I read some people's blogs and I wonder if there is a degree of exhibitionism at work. (Not you, Boy). Hopefully I will not embarass myself or others by what I bare here.

The times I want to write a blog the most are when I am on my boat "Miss M". She is a 30' Rawson that joined our family in February of this year. Here is a picture of her:

She looks WAY better than she did when we got her.

It has taken much money and time to get her where she is today. And there is more and more and more that I want to...need to...must do. The joys of boat ownership! The sick thing is that it really is a joy. I love her. This insanity must be due to boats being female. Enough said.

But, back to what I was saying about the blog...

In the morning when I wake up on the boat.

And the water is all glassy. And the sun is glowing red in the east. And fisherman are scuttling off to do their thing. And my coffee is brewing. And I sit in the cockpit and take it all in. That's when I wish I could write a blog and try to tell someone (even myself) what I feel.

Enough already. I'm just doing it. Writing a blog. We will see where it goes. How faithful I will be to write. If I am embarrassed by what I have to say or how I say it.

I'm a blogger. I blog.